Aside from a few really dark moments in my short life, this is the lowest I've felt both physically and emotionally in at least a decade. To be brief, I had a rather routine bladder infection for which I went to the doctor, got antibiotics, and proceeded as usual. In the past, after 3 days of meds and that stuff that makes you pee neon orange, I felt immensely better. This time it was the opposite: day 4, and I'm in an intense amount of pain near my kidneys and lower abdomen. To make matters worse, it is now Saturday, my doctor's office is closed, the urgent medical place in the next town is closed, and the other emergency care place doesn't open til 9am. Making matters mentally distressing, I was supposed to leave for Vermont with my friends this morning to visit a dear friend, whom I've missed very much; my parents are still in the fucking Caribbean, by grandparents have work/commitments, my only other local friend is also away, and my fiance was at work. The word "distraught" is not a severe enough description of how I felt.
I get in at this place, and thankfully I'm in and out fast, but only to find out that my antibiotics are working as they should be and "you really shouldn't be in as much pain as you are" was the response I got out of the doctor. Her only suggestion was that my intestinal area may also be inflamed due to my agitated bladder coupled with regular PMS symptoms. Oh, and a rather appreciated script for Vicodin.
So here I am, thoroughly spaced out from a mere half of a Vicodin, depressed, alone, and unable to operate heavy machinery. It's times like these when my atheistic inclinations seem justified. Would a benevolent god punish a decent person in such a fashion? Probably not. An Old Testament god would, undoubtedly: just look at what happened to poor Job. Buddha would say my suffering is normal as it is a symptom of human existence, which seems most believable. So: either I have a huge amount of negative karma, the god(s) have it out for me, or I'm currently just being clusterfucked by coincidence and bad health.
Either way, I'm trapped away from my friends, and I can only hope that something good will happen to me soon.
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