...And The Shoe Hath Dropeth

Those dark clouds promptly rolled in this afternoon, after being subjected to the most pessimistic and despicable school-mandated information session I've ever attended in my life. My intense hatred for gender-based double standards and the superficiality of American culture has increased a billion fold, and the fact that, apparently, my very career rests on whether or not my nail polish is chipped has squashed any fanciful notion I may have entertained about getting a teaching job in New York State within the next five years or so.
Picture a panel of persons in your chosen field who have the dubious job of hiring new employees. Now, imagine the responses they might rattle off when posed the question "What are some basic do's and don'ts to be aware of in the interviewing process?" Perhaps "be positive and provide well-thought out responses" came to mind, or "don't bad mouth former employers" or "dress appropriately." That's what I expected too. What we got was a 45-minute lecture on all of the horrible crimes of fashion one could commit at their interview. No chunky jewelry, no outlandish shoes, if your hair is long it must be up and neat, suits must be crisp and well tailored, no colored suits unless it's the summer, even if it's 1738 degrees out you must wear pantyhose....45 FUCKING MINUTES ABOUT HOW "LOOKING PROFESSIONAL" WAS THE MOST IMPORTANT ASPECT OF YOUR INTERVIEW!
Sure, we finally got around to the quality of the responses, resume etiquette, and the application process. And that stuff is important, but only if you pass the initial appearance test first. For christ's sake, one Assistant Superintendent told us when she was an intern, she was on a hiring panel, and the reason why they didn't hire a well dressed, articulate, extremely knowledgeable woman was......wait for it....... because she was wearing green nail polish during the interview. Not because her tits were popping out of her top, or because she had "love/hate" tattooed across her knuckles, or because GOD FORBID she was wearing open toed shoes.... because she had the audacity to wear green nail polish!
Have I gone crazy? Am I living in 1937? I thought it was the cultural norm to look past individual differences and evaluate people based on their merits when hiring them for an academic position? Apparently the teaching profession might as well be high fashion modeling because if I can be eliminated from a hiring pool simply because I don't meet a certain standard of "professionalism," I might as well be a fucking piece of meat. Yes, I agree you should be dressed very sharply and seriously for a job interview, and you should look as clean and presentable as possible. But to disregard my accomplishments and qualifications because my skirt was slightly wrinkled is absolutely ridiculous, and in direct contrast to the "meritocracy" of America. I'm not fooling myself either; I realize that first impressions are important and everyone is unfairly judged by their appearance on a daily basis, but as a culture we generally recognize that this is problematic, and yet we have done nothing to change it.
It also pisses me off that 90% of the advice was directed towards women. Really all a guy has to do is press his conservatively colored suit and comb his hair and he's set; a woman has to scrutinize every square inch of her body for imperfections and possible fashion faux pas.
An errant hair could fuck up my employment opportunities in this absurd, cut throat recession. One panelist even condescended to be optimistic enough to say "Things are bad now, but eventually they just have to pick up. Don't get discouraged!" Fuck you, bitch. You just said I have to worry that my shoes may be the determining factor in whether or not you hire me. But I shouldn't get discouraged.
Why isn't there a nation where people can enter and work based entirely upon their qualifications and willingness to perform? Because that sure as shit isn't the case here.